Day 5 – I am doing fine

Honestly, there is not much for me to talk about. Not because there have not been no challenges, but because a balance is taking place in my life. So sweet. With sweet I mean, that I have a commitment with myself, I am not letting myself go, I am being here for me to see the truth of this moment, see how it affects me, its consequence, and every moment I am learning something new. There for sure will be many more challenges, but majnor events are happening in my life. For example this morning I had a recording with a choir, and it has been the time I has sung the best in all my life. I was singing my truth for real in my sound while my own sound was supporting myself to set myself free, to be here and act and create and not lose or forget myself. To help others who are in trouble, to help them see they are here, to show them what this mean. I will face many challenges, but the most important step which is self-commitment I have already walked it. And I am glad I did this, it’s why I did it. It shouldn’t have taken me this longs, but I finally saw it and I am working each moment to have an inner balance. To not be against energy, but rather been one with it, expressing myself, while I have this view that I am not deceiving myself. If you focus in yourself, there is really no limit to how much you can see, you are the one deciding how commited you are to yourself, and therefore to others. I am enjoying talking with my own sound, because it’s been a long time. It’s just that I have missed it, there were apparently so many reasons to lose my sound that I thought it was worth it. And the truth, I knew it when I did it. I knew I was the one doing it, I remember seen it and this was the point I had to reveal to myself. If you lose yourself, it doesn’t matter where you search it, you will never find it.

Thanks to everybody, let’s not lose ourselves.

Day 4 – Update about my process

So this is not going to be a normal blog. First I want to say that it seems that Desteni is a place which is not right or wrong, and that is… Right.

But, despite that, let’s assume that Desteni is wrong in some points. What are my questions for myself after having applied the tools and then having stopped applied them? The following:

-Why is it that I can not stop my thoughts if I want to?

-Why is it that I have no control over the energy, as reactions, generated by trigger thoughts, within myself? Why is it that they change me?

-Why is it that my mind, alone, without discipline, as the desteny tools, will simply look for the easiest way to empty me of substance by creating energy? Is this the only way to live?

-Why is it that without the Desteny tools I can’t seem to guide my own energy when I express myself, and instead I just generate as much as possible as quickly as possible to apparently ‘live’?

My conclusion is that there is something fundamentally wrong in the way I have come to exist. And I must find a way in which I can express myself, while I am the directive principle. And not what I do, which is using energy as a trigger point to just have energy in the end, which is what I do even if I apparently have ‘honest thoughts’ in the process.

I commit myself to keep applying the tools for the mind provided by Desteni, but without falling into a trap where I run away from my mind to not face my mind and feel like I am already free. When in fact there is so much work to do. I commit myself to follow what is real within my own individual experience, and I commit myself to connect Desteni with that, where Desteni becomes a guide for my own individual process, which is what it should have been from the start, instead of making my it my live saving point. I commit myself to see what my mind is really made of, which is, seeing it for what is it instead of inside a right or wrong equation, and within this I commit myself to not judge me, to not react to myself as much as I can each day, and to keep applying tools which by themselves are neutral and I will have to be tested for myself to find out if they are for me or not.

I commit myself to see the truth, and from this point express my own self, instead of justifying everything with energy, as I do if left alone without discipline, because it apparently makes me more than myself, when in fact who I am goes anywhere, and in the process I haven’t even expressed myself. Instead, I have within myself, expressed my attachment towards energy as feelings/emotions, even if I am the only one within this whole world noticing it.

I commit myself to set free, as this neutral point I have found within myself that only sees the truth, these mind systems which only purpose is to direct myself into the creation of energy for me to apparently live, while meanwhile, nothing happens.

Day 1 – How to be myself

Hi, this is my new blog. Thanks for joining me, I am starting something new in my life, and I am glad you want to be a part of it.

I want to write about what comes to my mind. I don’t know why I have never noticed that I don’t really need energy to exist. You know, before you notice you are already there, and you start getting further and further away from the truth. I don’t know if I would have realized this without Eqafe or Desteni I process. I don’t know why I haven’t been the one to say, hey, please, let’s look at what’s going on here. And that makes me feel bad, what is wrong with me? But I don’t have all the answers, I am just here, and I know that we as beings don’t need energy. Energy makes you feel energy and then you desire more and so on, it’s a cycle. I can’t tell you why I haven’t realized this by myself, it is hard for me, but I can tell you what I am doing it and how I am doing it.

You are there, yourself, you exist, and then you can enter this world of energy where you enter a polarity and you get further and further away from the truth. It’s all explained in Eqafe, I am just sharing what I am going through. So this energy is a hell in itself, because it takes you nowhere, literally, and that is not desirable, for anyone. And that itself is connected to the rest of this physical manifested world and money and etc.

So, I am choosing to stop the energy. Just to be myself, who I already am. In every part of me. I am realizing this now, since I haven’t been able to realize this before. I am supporting myself to simply stop all the reactions, and I already feel changed. I feel good, but good for real. It remembers me to when I was a child and I was just in the car watching through the window and just being there. I have missed that. I am committed to live my own life. I will get this done, and see what’s in there. Which in fact, it is just me. I have lost many time. And I want to somehow make things right by simply getting this done. Just done, and nothing more. I will have many challenges, I probably have a long way to go, since barely one or two days ago I was feeding all these energies. But I know what I am capable of, I know I am here, and I can understand myself and how I have to move myself within myself, I understand this in me so I have no more excuses.

It has been hard for me to accept that is possible, because sometimes I felt like it was too much, too much energy, too easy to be followed. But I have to recognize one quality I have. When I make mistakes, I try to see the entire truth of them. I may, in fact, make the mistake. But for one moment, I see what I cannot deny. I have always done that because I don’t like when things do not fit, things are made to fit and make sense together. So when I make mistakes, mistakes that I know I want to do, I always say to myself, hey look at what you are about to do and remember it.

And then I do it anyway (at least this is the way it has been), but I can’t deny what I saw for one moment, it sticks in me, for my own good. This is what makes sense for me, I just haven’t believed in myself. I don’t like this world, honestly, but I also see what this world can be. And first and foremost I have to be myself. So I am glad I am doing this, and I wish you the best aswell.