Day 4 – Update about my process

So this is not going to be a normal blog. First I want to say that it seems that Desteni is a place which is not right or wrong, and that is… Right.

But, despite that, let’s assume that Desteni is wrong in some points. What are my questions for myself after having applied the tools and then having stopped applied them? The following:

-Why is it that I can not stop my thoughts if I want to?

-Why is it that I have no control over the energy, as reactions, generated by trigger thoughts, within myself? Why is it that they change me?

-Why is it that my mind, alone, without discipline, as the desteny tools, will simply look for the easiest way to empty me of substance by creating energy? Is this the only way to live?

-Why is it that without the Desteny tools I can’t seem to guide my own energy when I express myself, and instead I just generate as much as possible as quickly as possible to apparently ‘live’?

My conclusion is that there is something fundamentally wrong in the way I have come to exist. And I must find a way in which I can express myself, while I am the directive principle. And not what I do, which is using energy as a trigger point to just have energy in the end, which is what I do even if I apparently have ‘honest thoughts’ in the process.

I commit myself to keep applying the tools for the mind provided by Desteni, but without falling into a trap where I run away from my mind to not face my mind and feel like I am already free. When in fact there is so much work to do. I commit myself to follow what is real within my own individual experience, and I commit myself to connect Desteni with that, where Desteni becomes a guide for my own individual process, which is what it should have been from the start, instead of making my it my live saving point. I commit myself to see what my mind is really made of, which is, seeing it for what is it instead of inside a right or wrong equation, and within this I commit myself to not judge me, to not react to myself as much as I can each day, and to keep applying tools which by themselves are neutral and I will have to be tested for myself to find out if they are for me or not.

I commit myself to see the truth, and from this point express my own self, instead of justifying everything with energy, as I do if left alone without discipline, because it apparently makes me more than myself, when in fact who I am goes anywhere, and in the process I haven’t even expressed myself. Instead, I have within myself, expressed my attachment towards energy as feelings/emotions, even if I am the only one within this whole world noticing it.

I commit myself to set free, as this neutral point I have found within myself that only sees the truth, these mind systems which only purpose is to direct myself into the creation of energy for me to apparently live, while meanwhile, nothing happens.

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